Keeping Your Sanity

During your loved one’s deployment, it is a good idea to find hobbies for you and your children (if you have children) to stay mentally stable. I personally know the many excuses military wives tell themselves to avoid such activities, such as; I’m too busy, I’m too tired, I can’t miss his/her phone call, I just want to stay home. These are very good excuses, but they are just that, excuses. Military life has a way of taking over yours’ and your family’s life. Don’t let it! It has already taken your spouse, you can’t let it take you too. It’s time to focus on you!

Think! Think really-really-hard about what you are passionate about, create a list and execute the list one item at a time, and stop to enjoy the moments you have found for yourself. The hobbies can be something you did and no longer had time for or it can be new and something you have always been wanting to learn, do or experience. It is time for you to take a moment for yourself, as an individual, and it’s time for your kids to do the same. New found hobbies not only keeps you occupied and busy during a long deployment, but it can also help you grow as a person, as a parent, and as a spouse.

If your spouse is anything like mine they will find peace in knowing, you are finding joy, time and new hobbies for yourself during the deployment. In my experience, they tend to worry less about you at home, if you are keeping yourself “happy,” so they can focus on their job at hand—which is very important.

My husband was recently on deployment and some of the things I found time for were simple and quick, but most importantly kept me sane. I kept my sanity intact by enjoying my home gym—it’s not big, it’s not grand, but it was and still is my self-improvement time—at least 30 minutes every day. My gym time helped me cope with the daily stresses of being a military wife, mom, student and a full-time employee. I also made time to get a manicure and pedicure at least once a month (sometimes more depending on the month). Again, not a lot of time, but was my sanity during my husband’s deployment. A little pampering does great for one’s sole.

As for my kid’s sanity, I decided to get them a puppy. Yes, a puppy! I know that was a bit extreme and it’s not for every family, but it gave my kids joy and responsibility. My kids were in-charge of potty training, walking, feeding him and loving him. He was a continuous ball of happiness for my kids. My favorite moments were when I would walk into the room and both my children were on the floor laughing hysterically, while playing with Zuko our little Havanese puppy. This puppy found a way to bring laughter and happiness into my kids’ lives at a time that was stressful for our family. A puppy is not for everyone, but it worked perfectly for us. It’s a good idea to find something for your family that will bring responsibility, happiness and joy to everyone in the family unit.

Everybody is different, everybody has different passions. I would suggest finding and focusing on those passions during a loved ones’ deployment. I believe this helps make a hard situation a little more bearable and you as a person can learn new things about yourself that you wouldn’t have known before. It is time for self-discovery and self-love. You will and your family will be better off in the long run.